The kindness of strangers

You bulldoze your way through a group of total strangers, shake a million hands and feign interest in more businesses than you ever knew existed – all in the hopes of gaining a contact or two that might someday turn into an actual piece of business. It’s an agonizing, never-ending, sometimes fruitless dance, but you persist.

This morning, I pulled on my professional clothes and dusted off my meet-and-greet personality to attend not one, but two, networking opportunities. This first one started much the same as the all the others I’d been to. A Virginia Reel of sorts, we schmoozed and exchanged business cards and then moved on to the next likely prospect. However, toward the end of the hour, one of our fellow networkers started talking about how he was trying to break into a particular market and for about 15 minutes straight, a couple of us rapid-fired a stream of ideas at him. The networker was elated. It was obvious that just these few minutes had been worth getting out of bed for him.

Next up was a lunchtime meeting with a contact I had made almost a year ago. I was pretty sure the hour wouldn’t bear any fruit, but I put my skepticism aside and went anyway. But instead of leaving empty-handed, I went home with the promise of three introductions, several great ideas for attracting new business and most importantly, the genuine feeling that someone was on my side.

Today it occurred to me that, after all these months, I’ve completely missed the point of networking. Sure, we’d all like for the smiling and shaking hands to net us some business, but it’s really about so much more than that. Networking is about creating a support system.

In the corporate world, how many times do you hear, “How can I help you?” At networking events, you hear that phrase again and again. And because people are in the same boat as you, they really mean it. When they say they’ll put in a good word for you, they do. When they say “let’s do lunch,” they set a time. And when they hear about work, they share it.

When you own a small business – and especially one that consists of only you – it’s an isolating experience. It’s you against the world. Often you have no one to inspire you, no one to use as a resource and no one to even encourage you. In an otherwise dog-eat-dog world, networking gives you a feeling of camaraderie and inclusion that can often make all the difference.

I’ve met people who have led me to business, people with whom I’ve collaborated and people who have become my friends. In other words, I’ve come to rely on the kindness of strangers and for a whole lot more than I ever realized!